Battle Fury

[mikailborg]

Every time I see a hostage situation in the movies, the angry, violent part of me wishes I was watching the Klingon version, where the good guys sorrowfully declare the hostages martyrs, sing songs of their brave sacrifice, and blow up the building.

One of the worst times was actually during a Star Trek episode, where some culture had gotten hold of a space probe of ours, reverse-engineered the matter-antimatter technology (wrongly), and wrecked their planet. They then had the gall to blame us, and kill off a hostage to show that despite their idiocy, they still had really big sex organs. And to make it worse, our captain starts feeling guilty about the whole thing!

On the other tentacle, the Klingon version:
Terrorist: "Despite the fact that you were agreeing to our demands, we've killed one of the hostages. I bet you regret your mistake now, huh?"
Klingon captain: "I sure do. Good-bye, honorable landing party."
Klingon landing party: "Bye! You'll find some death song ideas in our personal logs - we've been working on them just in case!"
Terrorist: "What? Hey! Wait! Wait a minute!"
The landing party's communicators, being really sturdy, register the first half-second of incoming photon torpedo fire.
Klingon captain: "Too bad. Let's go find a planet with some real warriors!"

Now, I want to make it clear that I'm not suggesting this as a solution to any real-world situation. Whatever the flaws in the idea, though, I bet it would cut down on hostage crises.

Comments

[dpawtows.livejournal.com]

Actually, that is standard Israeli procedure for hostages. It gets them a lotta bad press, but it does work, quite well.